He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
