it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
