Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
These tits shall not be calmed
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
