it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
