Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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