i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
