oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
