i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize