Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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