I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize