I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
