My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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