Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
