i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
