I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
