Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize