But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
