were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
