I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
