btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
