Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
