Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize