I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize