if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
