Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
