He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
