Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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