Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
