I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
