I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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