i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
