i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize