evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
