She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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