Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
