the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
