oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
