gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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