i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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