I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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