I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
accomplished twins. life is a go
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
