Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
