Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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