actually, I'm a sock model
True but thats because hes a fetus.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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