If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
