called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
