mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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