I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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