it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
