FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
where are my eyebrows?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
