real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
