How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i think i just lost a toe
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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