I want to make a zoo with you.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
