Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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