i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
