it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
