so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I woke up under a house in Key West
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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