what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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