Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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