Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
