Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Still dying that you shit outside
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
