Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
