I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
