Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize