i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
