party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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