Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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